A short piece about to-do and to-don't lists, how what-if-ing can take you to some interesting places and, to complement our posts on the ten commandments of happiness, a new testament take on things.
Earlier this year my fabulous mates at Art of Brilliance came up with a really useful take on the old testament ten commandments. It was brilliant, beautiful and simple and I wrote three blogs about it because there was so much to unpack (links at the end). What I particularly liked was that everything was a 'thou shalt', rather than a 'thou shalt not'. The original list (no offence intended to God) was a tad negative. It read like a list of stuff that happens often enough, you needed to make a commandment. It was a bit of a to-don't list rather than a to-do list.
The to-don't list is still very popular these days. All businesses have one, HR, or should I call them people services, love one and you get them everywhere you go. I particularly love the TUI Airways one (other travel companies are available and they aren't sponsoring me, but they do do lots of flights from my local airport). I smile every time they go through it:
No smoking or vaping anywhere on the plane ✅
No drinking the duty free on the plane ✅
No lying down or sleeping in the aisle 👀
Pardon ? No sleeping or lying down in the aisle ? Really ? Clearly TUI have had a sufficient number of incidents of this type that they had to add it to their to-don't list. If I was younger and suppler I would be tempted to turn up in pumps and a tutu every time I fly and do a little ballet move, get told off, apologise and sit down. I wonder how many times I'd have to do that before the standard script ended:
No lying down or sleeping in the aisles 😴
No ballet performances allowed on the plane 🩰
it wouldn't be useful, but how cool would it be to be the sole cause of an item on a to-don't list ? #lifegoals.....
You're probably thinking 'what on earth is he on about and when will he get to the point ?'. Soon dear reader, soon. The ballet fantasy was just an example of how my brain works. I'm a bit of a what-if-er. So if you give me a to-don't list, my mind is going:
So if that's the list of don'ts, everything else is valid then 🤔
So I can ballet dance to my hearts content ?
Could I bring a guitar on and busk for spare change ?
If a few of us were prepared could we do a Shakespeare play ?
As you would guess, this makes living in my head very interesting and after 61 years of it I have learnt not to share too much of what is going on as it scares some people...
So when I read the ten commandments of happiness:
First thought: Genius piece, bravo;
Second thought: Lots to unpack there in some blogs;
Third thought: What would the new testament equivalent be ?
Hence, the two commandments of happiness....
In the new testament it says the greatest commandment is to love the lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind and the second greatest is to love your neighbour as you love yourself.
Now the first obvious difference between these and the old testament commandments is they form a small to-do list rather than a longer to-don't list, which is good. But these two assume something big and chunky and vital to their intent:
they assume you love yourself to start.
I don't know about you, but for me 21st century living and self love seem to be a tad incompatible and things are getting worse as the century pootles along. I think the unfortunate reality we are experiencing has lots of people not loving themselves and they are behaving the same way towards their neighbours.
It seems to be getting easier and easier to find ways to treat others badly, but it's not that surprising if, when we go home, we tell ourselves we're a failure, we're fat, we're ugly, we're not worthy. We're not enough. And if, for some strange reason, the thought that we are worthy, that we are enough comes into our heads, we can just doom-scroll social media for 10 minutes and that will get those silly, positive thoughts back in their box 😞
I used to think the biggest lie we told ourselves was that happiness was at the end of the rainbow rather than at the start of it. It was an end goal rather than a means to it. But I was wrong. It's one of the biggest and it can ruin your life, but it's not the biggest.
I think the biggest lies we tell ourselves are that we're not worthy and we're not enough.
I think the not worthy lie is the 'means' to the end goal of not being enough. If you keep telling yourself you're not worthy of love, happiness, respect, friendship, contentment, you create that lack in yourself that makes you feel empty. That you're not enough. So you get into a cycle:
I don't love myself;
I'm not worthy;
I'm not enough;
Repeat.....
But it's just lies that we tell ourselves. The truth is:
You do deserve to love and be loved.
You are worthy.
YOU ARE ENOUGH !
I believe that the two commandments of happiness are simple truths that we need to be doing every day:
Love yourself with all your heart, soul and mind.
Love everybody as you love yourself .
Can you imagine what the world would be like if we just followed these two commandments ? It would be pretty cool and maybe, you're thinking, a bit pie in the sky ? So instead, imagine what your life would be like if you lived by these commandments. If these were the two top lines on your to-do list and your to-be list for the rest of your life. It may not change the world, but it would massively change your world and the worlds of those close to you. Worth it ? I think so.
Mike xx
PS: I have no ballet skills and whatever you do please don't ever imagine me in a tutu and pumps. It's not something that you'll get out of your head easily 😄
Mike Martin
Mike Martin
Mike Martin
