Rediscovering You - Part 1

In the beginning.....

I have an unwavering belief that we are all born 'sorted'. We have all the core things we need installed like unconditional love, empathy and of course the big C - Curiosity. Some of us will have that stuff in different amounts or have some extra challenges to overcome. We are fresh and clean and the world is our oyster. But then things start going down hill.

Our parents, family, friends and teachers start teaching us things that we should and shouldn't do, telling us what is right and what is wrong and generally indoctrinating us as best they can. This is done with the best of intentions and often with love. They love and care for us and want us to be able to survive in this world we've just entered. Sometimes this goes really well, sometimes it goes horribly badly and sometime it goes ok.

We learn about the things we should do, which is great. Then we get told about what we shouldn't do which gets us to thinking that those things might be worth a try. The icing on the cake is that we learn all the stuff that adults do that they shouldn't, just by quietly watching and being curious. And of course we suck that stuff up like sponges. Children are particularly adept at picking up on swear words and general inappropriateness. Repeating gossip about a friend of the family in front of that person seems to be a universal skill when we are young.

By the time you are considered an adult by society you have learnt a load of behaviours and habits and beliefs and values, with no real filter on whether they are useful to you or will support what you want to do in life. Most of us think 'this is it, this is the hand I have been dealt'. We just keep going and live this life that has been created for us, and that is fine. This post is about the ones that choose another path.

The fork in the road

There are many forks in the road of life. Potentially every decision we make sends us down a particular path, so you could say that we are constantly changing direction. What is a lot more likely, and evident, is that all the stuff we learnt as kids narrows down the choices we think we have. For some there is only one road and they never see the junctions as they approach them. Their beliefs, values, habits and behaviours lock them in to which turning to take each time. It's like we've been trained to sleepwalk through life !

I've met a small number of people who woke themselves up, noticed the forks and junctions and made positive life changes. The much larger proportion were shocked out of this weird life trance we get stuck in by an extreme life event of some kind, like a breakdown, serious illness or loss of a relationship or a loved one. The status quo became intolerable for them and they couldn't keep doing what they'd always done and getting what they'd always got. And when they looked around they saw that there are other options. But change can be scary and how do you know which road to take ?

Waking Up to the magnificence of life

As I write this we're halfway through the 3rd decade of the 21st Century and the world is more bonkers than it has ever been. On the downside, there are still billions of people walking that same old path muttering to themselves 'this is fine', despite the madness around them. But on the upside more and more people are realising that the path they are on needs to change and are, as Sydney Banks would say, waking up to the magnificence of life.

This is the space that Out Beyond Ideas and Art of Brilliance operates in. All the blog posts are here to help you rediscover that best version of you, your true self, that joyous, curious version of you that slowly got closed down so you could conform to societal norms. The workshops and keynotes that we offer through Art of Brilliance are designed to give people that little nudge and help them realise that there may be a better way of living. The Buzz online community is there for us to support each other on the journey.

What would your future self do ?

So you've been jogged awake to the realisation that the life path you are on may not be taking you where you want to go and you're thinking how can I make better decisions ? Well a simple starting point is to do find a sound adviser that fully understands you, cares about you and has a vested interest in you making great choices. That sounds like a bit of a challenge but the answer is a simple one. What better advisor could you have than your future self ?

Think about it. Every single thing that you do going forward has an instant impact on you now and a longer term impact on your future self. If you're having a bad day, snaffling that whole pack of biscuits might seem like a great self care plan, but future you will take the consequences of it. A compromise of a couple of biccies will keep both of you happy. After a tough day at work that bottle of wine will look tempting and it would be a shame not to finish it. But future you will suffer the consequences of drinking on a school night and having to get up for work the next day. So maybe one glass and one of those pump things that gets the air out of the bottle and keeps it fresh is a better plan.

Future you is a really simple way to expand your decision horizon so that you make better choices today. Lets face it, some days the answer will be to finish the packet/bottle, but at least you'll be doing it consciously. Without consulting with future you, you could soon slip back into sleepwalking your way through life. That may have been acceptable 30+ years ago, but in 2025 it should come with a government health warning.

So give it a go and see what happens. In part 2 I'll give you an upgrade on future self that you can try.

Mike xx