Everything in Moderation

Eating the elephant

This should have been my first post in this blog as it contains what I think is the most important rule of personal development. But that voice in my head got all excited and came up with tens of ideas and the current state of the world guided me to the articles already published.

There is a very old quote that has been attributed to giants like Nelson Mandela and Francis of Assisi, but it more probably evolved from an old African Proverb.

There is only one way to eat an elephant -
one bite at a time.

It's a simple metaphor to encourage people to break a significant task or activity into small bits so that it becomes more achievable and you are more likely to succeed. You can apply it pretty much to any task, but it is particularly effective when it comes to the journey of life. This journey we are on can be overwhelming enough at the best of times, so when it comes to making your life better, you really want to keep going with the stuff that helps you do that.

Focussing on 'The How'

Simon Sinek is famous for his Start's with Why stuff and my mate Jonathan Peach does an excellent Why Factor workshop for Art of Brilliance if any leaders out there are interested. So lets use Simon's model and apply it to your life.

You've come to a point in your life where you think 'there must be more to this than doom-scrolling, Netflix subscriptions and Greggs sausage rolls for lunch'. (Note: we are not sponsored by Netflix or Greggs and other streaming services and food vendors are available). So you buy a self help book out of the thousands available, or start reading a blog like this or your organisation gets one of the Art of Brilliance team in to do a session at work. And you're inspired to rediscover the best version of you !

'Why' you're doing it is pretty obvious to you - you want to live a fantastic life of happiness and joy being your best self. The 'What' you need to do is also pretty clear as the blog, session, or book gives you a shedload of concepts and ideas that are, at least in the case of Out Beyond Ideas and Art of Brilliance, easy to understand and simple to implement. But the secret of your success will be in the 'How'.

Slow and steady wins the race

So, you've devoured the blog/book or just left the workshop buzzing. You've been woken up from the sleepwalk of life and are ready for BIG changes. You know why you're doing it and you have a load of ideas what to do. So now it's just about getting it done. It can't be that hard can it ?

The simple answer is that it isn't that hard, but going at it all guns blazing isn't the best plan for most people. A great self help book like The Art of Being Brilliant, has enough material in it to keep you busy for say 5 years. This blog will have similar in 12 months time. An Art of Brill session may have 2-3 years of actionable content. So you've got an elephants worth of WHAT buzzing round in your head and you just want to do it all right now !!!!

This is the point where you need to rein yourself in and take it slow and steady. Rather than throw yourself in and start building gratitude into everything you do, four minute ruling every encounter and living every second of your 4000 weeks like a legend, take a time-out.

Find some quiet time for yourself where you can reflect on everything you've taken on board and see what resonates and what doesn't. Write all the actionable stuff down and score it out of 10 or stick it on post-its and prioritise it. Let the things that resonated the most and would fit into your life easily float to the top. Then focus on one thing, two at the most. Start practising them regularly and making them habits. When they've stuck, add something in. If things start slipping, take something out.

The aim is to install the beliefs, attitudes and habits that support the best version of you and that takes time, commitment and patience. Remember that you are likely to be undoing habits formed over many years at the same time, so be patient with and kind to yourself.

Regular reviews and maybe a bit of journalling will help you see progress. Reviewing your priorities every so often is a worthwhile task as you may find that as you change, they do too. And it's always worth revisiting the stuff you dismissed because it didn't resonate or fit into your lifestyle. You may find something that you previously dismissed is the ideal next thing to do.

By going slow and steady you are more likely to successfully build those habits, change your beliefs and values and rediscover your true self. For most of us, slow and steady will be more successful than throwing everything at it and hoping for the best. Life has a habit of getting in the way and if you are doing 5 things consciously and 'stuff' happens, they may just fizzle out. If you have one or two great habits/beliefs that have become unconscious, they will just continue happening through the bad times and make things a lot easier.

Making the journey sustainable

Here is a simple 7 point plan for actioning wellbeing interventions in a sustainable and successful way.

Regularity of reviews will be down to you. My suggestion would be weekly progress, priorities 4 weekly and check the stuff not on the list 3 or 4 times a year.

Go fast or go far ?

To finish with another old African proverb:

If you want to go fast, go alone,
if you want to go far, go together.

When you get woken up to the magnificence of life, you are buzzing with life and hope and joy. You've found the path you've been looking for and you're eager to follow it. But life, the news, work, family, friends and general stuff will be waiting just round the corner to trip you up and give you a bloody good kicking. If you're not mindful about integrating your wellbeing transformation with all the other stuff you have to juggle every day, it's easy to drop the ball and slip back into old ways. Putting a little thought into it and introducing small changes that become big habits may seem slow, but slow and steady is more likely to win the race.

As the proverb says, if you choose to make this journey with others, you can support each other as needed. If you want a little help on the way, the Art of Brilliance has an online community that will help you keep that wellbeing buzz going. If you fancy joining us in there, you can use the link below.

Mike xx

Art of Brilliance Online Wellbeing Community

The Buzz is our new free online wellbeing community hosted on Whatsapp. It’s a place for teens and up to hang out with other like-minded people and get the help they need to form the habits that make ‘best-self’ your default setting.

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